So its 5 am. I have class at 8 am. FML. I have so much on my mind right now I can't even sleep. Ya my stomach is growling a little bit since all I had was oatmeal, just like 3 or 4 spoonfuls,since I really don't like oatmeal. Then I just had two cups of coffee and one cup of skim milk and then just selzter and water. I decided the only way I can reach my goal is if I really just stop eating. I really hate food. I am never going to be as hot as I want to be if I continue eating the way I use to. I want to be 115. I want to be disgustingly skinny that every part of my body is super skinny like my face, my back bones and spine need to be more visible and of course my thighs need to get like 10x smaller so that I can have the space in between them. I decided I just need to be obsessed with not eating anything and going to the gym. Instead of giving myself of month, like I said Nov 18 to reach 120, I have a powder puff football game nov 6 which is in 3 weeks so I will give myself til then to be 120, which I think is completely possible since I am 6 or so pounds away from that. By Nov 18, I should be 115. That is model thin. So hopefully I can continue not eating today. I am having a cup of coffee and a cig at 730 am before class and then hopefully just drinking water and red bull. I'll let you know if I eat anything, but if I get really hungry maybe fake eating will work instead of actual eating. goodnight.stay strong, ingnore the stomach growling and listen to Ana's voice! The hunger pain just means I am closer to my goal. Behind everything BEAUTIFUL, there is some kind of PAIN.
Stay strong <3
ReplyDeletedont forget to exercise. and eat healthy things like protein okay? im a med student and we're learning how the body slowly eats the heart away when there's not much left to eat, in a process called ketosis. i really want you to be healthy. just make sure u get your vitamins and protein in and some carbs so you don't go into ketosis.
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