It's gonna be long way to happy...

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to keep on going...

So I am doing better. Last night I fake ate for dinner, since I was extremely hungry, I bought a chicken buffalo wrap and c & s, so proud of myself! If I actually ate that I would have felt gross and I am starting to enjoy the feeling of not eating again, yay! I also was at the gym and flipping through US weekly mag and came across Stephanie Pratt from the hills, who apparently suffered from an eating disorder and no not anorexia or bulimia, but yes fake eating! Well before the bulimia, she fake ate, apparently its the thing to do in L.A. I remember from that episode of SATC, where the guy goes to Cali and loses like 50 pounds cause he fake eats, because all the actors do it.  Loves it and so glad my ana buddy introduced it to me. So total of calories consumed yesterday.. 

coffee with skim milk & equal-25 cals? I try to put as little milk as possible, so I want to say 5 cals for coffee and a cup of fat free milk- 90 cals/ 5=18, so I round to like 25 not bad, but starting today I am only drinking plain black coffee with equal-5 cals!

cup of oj-120

eggwhites with cheese(small portion/ 3 or 4 bites)-90 cals

gum=5 x 5=25 cals

Fake eat+chicken wrap=? 100

2 cup of milk=90x 2=180

* well that was the end for yesterday and since I fake ate, hopefully I stayed under 500 cals and I burned like 400 cals at the gym.

Today 10/ 1:

1 cup of black coffee-5 cals

then I had 2 more small cups of coffee and I've been drinking lots of water and lemon water!

I have my gum and I am going to have a cig now, cause my stomach is growling...I hope I don't eat anything today! lets see... Need to write a paper now due at 7 and I need to make it to the gym and I've been doing pushups every 2 hours or so!