You're Not Strong...

You're Not Pretty

You're NOT Brave

You're have no friends

You have NO love

All you have is FAT

I'm doing horrible...I went to the gym yesterday and I tried to fast but then I just binged at the end. Now I need to be harder on myself! Its harder at college, cause at home, I am alone and I am closer to my ana buddy, Mandy and I just can distract myself from eating. Here its different, my roomies are always making cupcakes or brownies ughh. I try to clean here but it doesn't help, that was one of the best ana advice to clean something really gross like bathroom when you feel like eating, at home I clean my after my dog and everything so that helps, but here not much to clean, maybe I should be a super freak ocd person and clean my room everyday. I should I could organize my room/ my life. Ana helps with that, helps me prioritize my life, I feel like once I am skinny everything will fall into place. 

So hmm how am I doing today- coffee with tsp skim milk/ 2 equals, then I made egg whites with low fat shredded cheese, it says its 45 cals for the 2 tsp cheese, i barely but that much and I only had like maybe 3 table spoons of egg white mix so it was really small portion.  I really need to stay strong and not eat anything else.  Maybe some plain lettuce later and I need need to go to the gym. I also need to start drinking more water with lemon juice since that really helped me this summer.  I am adding to my ana wall, when I was drunk this weekend and my guy friend came to stay over I had to rip most of the stuff down, cause thats kind of embarrasing.  I'm starting over again.  At least I lost 10 pounds from this summer, which means I can lose ten more :) I'm not weighing myself til I fast and back on track to my ana plan.  I know I am strong and can do this and I just need to be harder on myself. I need you Ana! Cause there are days when I'm okay and I'm good and I stay strong...But there are days when I'm not okay and I need your help, together we can make it through another day! Stay Strong X0